As I saw some fellow adoptive parents (whom I met in Ukraine) post about their 1 year anniversary coming up, I could hardly believe it!!
We officially met Matthew October 4, 2012.
He became our son officially on October 24, 2012.
He arrived in the United States and in his HOME on November 1, 2012.
Amazing!!
I know many have been disappointed in my lack of blogging about his transition to our family, but honestly there has not been much to post about. Matthew has fit into our family PERFECTLY-- it really in many ways is like he has ALWAYS been here. He was READY for a family, he dreamed and talked about a family, he WANTED older and younger brothers.... (2 I think was the number, oh well). He was READY for FAMILY and WHATEVER that meant-- even our CRAZY family.
I am always amazed at how well Matthew has done being in the MIDDLE. I think it has been PERFECT for him. In his orphanage he was with mainly just his peers, or those with even a bit of a younger mentality. He now has 2 older brothers to challenge him, protect him, and teach him. He has younger siblings (I think this was harder for him) because he had to learn to help, protect and teach those little ones who are looking up to him SOOOO much! He has a brother 3 years younger that he is by FAR the closest to-- they are really almost best friends.
I am going to add Matthew's 1 YEAR video collage at the end of this blog entry.... so please be patient, I'm not adding many pictures through this post.
PHYSICALLY
Today we went to meet with his Physical Therapist.... after taking the summer off from going to the Therapy center. We however have NOT stopped therapy. Tuesday-Friday he and I do therapy in our home for about 20-30 minutes. His therapist was THRILLED!!! She gave me some more ideas on some exercises to do-- more core and arm exercises. She said for a 9 year old he is awesome... but we need to focus on KEEPING him strong as he grows and fills out during puberty and going forward. His ore and arms will need to be STRONG! So we'll keep doing Therapy at home and see her again in April after his BIG Spina Bifida appointment.
He so loves trying to walk with 1 crutch... he does pretty good!! So happy for him!
We had one pitfall this summer and I thought it would never end. He got a sore / scratches on his foot from wearing NO shoes in our basement and playing-- no big deal for MOST-- however with his lack of feeling and circulation it took 2.5 MONTHS for this thing to HEAL!!!!!!! We tried everything... it was awful-- not painful of course, he couldn't feel ANYTHING-- but when his feet got hot/sweaty in his braces/shoes, it made the sore moist and ICKY and it didn't want to heal, so he had days / periods of days he had to sit with his leg propped up and OPEN to the air to heal. It is FINALLY healed!! THANKFULLY!! I was telling his therapist this and she said-- yes, he should NEVER EVER walk w/o at least shoes on-- if he steps on something sharp-- he will NOT know it-- if he gets a rock in his shoe-- he will NOT know it-- that is how sores come!! :(
This boy is HARD on AFO's-- but our AFO' company has been GREAT about replacing parts as needed!!
I will do a post later about WHAT our Therapy at HOME looks like.
Spina Bifida
I feel I have dropped the ball the most in this area. I have not blogged near enough about Spina Bifida. What it looks like in OUR family.
The thing with Spina Bifida is-- it looks SOOO different for EVERY child.
When we adopted Matthew his dx looked pretty scary and complex-- Thankfully I didn't spend too much (very very very little) time looking into any of those diagnoses... and I am thankful because NOW that I know this little boy-- I KNOW it is okay for us.
Matthew has no feeling from his ankles down (strangely enough when we first brought him home his loss of feeling was at his lower calf???). This is what causes him to walk different. I imagine it is like walking when your feet are "asleep" ALL THE TIME!! :(
I updated in his 6 month update about his Spina Bifida clinic meeting, we haven't had ANY problems so we won't see or hear from them till April 2014, when we will again see all 4 of the Specialty Doctors.
I know one question people have is about incontinence. Yes, it is true I think most if not ALL those with SB have very little if any ability to have normal bladder or bowel control. (Can I tell you I did NOT know this till a month before we brought him home?? ) Matthew does leak urine all the time. he cannot produce a stream and he cannot stop his stream. He can sometimes catch a break with his bowels if we watch the clock carefully. That said, his urologist agreed Matthew's kidneys look great and are emptying so we would just let him continue in this manner (diapers) at this point, vs. starting ot catheterise him. I am very thankful for this. He was so new to us and new to EVERYTHING I was glad to go this route. His Urologist did say "He is a very smart boy, though, down the road we will look to make changes so he can wear underwear and be secure". I am not sure when that will be. At this point we have made a few changes to help Matthew become more independent. I found BOY (not baby) Sleep pull-ups that he wears (no more sitting on the floor changing, ewww), he wears a watch that beeps hourly so he can track WHEN he should go to the bathroom (he has little concept of time... Daddy thought of this and it has CHANGED everything in this area for GOOD!) He carries a back pack with his own pull ups so he really is 100% independent in this area now. Verses when he came home I had to help him and change him, and he was in regular diapers.
I really don't mind him being like this and I don't think he minds either. I'm not sure about the meds' the would / will have to put him on in order to get him to be "continent". Down the road.
Dental wise, he is feeling SOO much better now that those teeth were pulled. THANKFULLY! Now he goes back in November for his regular check up, and to see how many cavities he has left.. We are trying a natural approach right now (hey what could it hurt??)
EDUCATIONAL
We started back to school 3 weeks ago. He again is doing well... working at a great pace. He is essentially 2nd grade.
He works at his own pace in Math and Reading and is working very well. He will most likely end this school year in the 3rd grade.
Science, History we work all together at different levels.
EMOTIONAL
He is much more stable in this area. His one area of weakness his "go to"- of crying. I can tell this is where he got attention and "equality" in his groupa.
His crying now is rare. If he is tired that will lead to a lot of tears. (Ex: sleeping in a tent and not getting much sleep... ) Also if school is something new-- he does not like new/hard things. (Ex. learning addition brought tears last year, he now wizzes through it so well, and now we are working on subtraction and it brings tears, instead of working through it. I just remind him that he too thought addition was "too hard" but with practice he is a GREAT now. He really just likes to be at the TOP of the CLASS.
That is the other area I often see-- I can tell Matthew was BY FAR a favorite in his groupa-- He does NOT like to not be #1 in everything. In school, in games, etc. Even #2 is hard for him. It has been good for him though to be in our large(r) family where he is an EQUAL part of our family-- NOT #1. Equal.
Highlights of his 2nd half of the year.
The biggest highlight would HAVE to be his 9th birthday. I do believe he started counting down to his birthday in May! His birthday was June 11th. He had NEVER had birthday cake before. He said 2 boys in his groupa had cakes but the rest of the kids NEVER EVER did. (I am thinking those were 2 of the "social" orphans or the children who have parents.). He was so excited, he wanted a blue cake, he wanted a motorcycle on it (like one he saw of his brother Joshua's a few years back), he wanted candles and a chocolate cake. He got it all!! :) We decorated the kitchen with balloons and streamers and he has continued to say "this is my BEST birthday ever". Not that we had a whole lot of competition. 2 days before his birthday his daddy planned a day of taking him go-carting and miniature golfing. He LOVED that very much.
Matthew has also went swimming many times. He loves swimming. I have not gotten ANY pictures!! I know I know, but with so many littles and water, it hasn't been a very good time to try to snap some. This Monday we are going 1 last time for the summer and I will TRY to snap some!! :)
He went to his first amusement park- He loved it-- it was a LOT of walking, but he did great. He rode some very new rides for HIM!
He also went camping 3x. And really LOVED that.
He has also helped with gardening, Karate and church softball.
HE IS PART OF OUR FAMILY- Not the CENTER- AN EQUAL PART
I do believe this will be the last post in THIS blog. Matthew has really adjusted so well-- I do not have great updates-- he is ONE of US. Doing WONDERFULLY.... above anything I could've ever asked or imagined.
I will continue to blog at our family blog. MominPA. I will update on Matthew as well as the REST of our family on that blog.
I will not close this one, and ONE DAY I hope to add too it again-- when we go back for "ONE MORE SPECIAL COLLINS BLESSING!!"
In closing-
Here is MATTHEW'S 1 YEAR VIDEO!!!!
(GO AHEAD GRAB SOME KLEENEX!!)
