What a process....only with God is this possible.

I think back when we decided that yes indeed we did feel the call to adopt a child.  I remember looking through the listings thinking, HOW could you EVER choose a child?   This is why the Lord doesn't let us choose our children.... it is hard.  And I still belive he CHOSE Carter for us.  It really did CLICK for us when we saw him.   In everyway.  (I pray it clicks when we meet him as well, and just as fast).  The Lord made it plainly clear this was to be our son.   It wasn't difficult at all once the LORD made it clear.

I then thick back to when we called the homestudy agency and I dreaded and feared greatly the "BIG IN HOME VISIT"   How scared I was for that--  how much I thought that list of things to gather and do was IMPOSSIBLE!!  But we made it...  the Lord brought us through and looking back it doesn't seem very impossible or difficult at all.  

Then... whew...I thought the biggest mountain of all was that DOSSIER packet!!  HOW in the WORLD would we ever have ALL those papers gathered, completed, NOTARIZED and THEN APPOSILLED??  That was impossible.... or was it?  No, it was not...the Lord granted us favor with many people to expidite that proess.  (incuding our notary who just was so joyful when she saw us and asked us many questions from her heart).   Once again....God leveled that mountain for us, and now that we are through, it doesn't seem it was THAT impossible.

Yesterday I came to the flat out realization.... this "fund raising" was SURELY THE BIGGEST mountain EVER, and NEVER would *I* be able to do this.    And as I watch the calendar tick down (about 7 more weeks till we should travel)  it makes me want to DO DO DO DO, so this was actually a very hard realization.   Nothing I did, not amount of auctioning, no amount of paper work (applying for grants/loans, etc) was going to be enough.  

WHEN we have our Adoption FUNDS in FULL-- it is going to be a SUPER NATURAL act of GOD.   It is going to come from Him and no where else.  I am just spinning my wheels.   That does not mean I can sit back and eat bon bons, I know that... but at the same time I am wasting a LOT of time that needs to be used other places.  (preparing our hearts here, spending time with my children around me, keeping these home fires burning.  )  

I need to be STILL and LISTEN and FOLLOW God's leading.   I need to REST and TRUST in him.  For me that in itself is a MOUNTAIN.....  I like "control" I like a "plan" I . ... I... I....  oh right... this is not about me.  It is about GOD-- it is about SAVING Carter... it is about God

God sets the lonely in families.    Psalm 68:6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;  Proverbs 3:5

So, although this seems to be the biggest mountain EVER, I am trusting.  I am waiting....

I am so very very  thankful for those of you that have responded to God's leading and donated to our Carter FSP fund.     It means so much.   

THANK YOU SO MUCH to whomever donated $10 last night.... EVERY BIT REALLY does help!!