WOW, I haven't really updated since Thanksgiving!!
To put it simply, Matthew has done above and beyond ANYTHING I ever imagined.
Physically
Physically when Matthew arrived he was primarily in his wheelchair and for short trips in his walker, walking on his ankles (backwards).
Matthew had weekly Physical Therapy within days of coming home.
We did switch providers in December. We needed a Therapist that was willing to work WITH US as a team. And did we ever find a WONDERFUL Physical Therapist. She loves working with Matthew and showing me how I can help him at home. Within days of seeing him in December and after seeing him in his AFO's she said "He will walk with arm crutches, soon, and maybe less." She was RIGHT!!! (I didn't feel the other therapist had any GOALS for him, it was just exercises because.... and this therapist has goals for Matthew, to which-- he has met ALL of them-- and is now decreasing to 2x a month therapy. (of course we need to continue at home daily or close too).
I also must mention our new PT has offered to not charge our Co-pay for Matthew's therapy visits. They are so impressed with him and his story!! What a blessing to us!!!
Here are a few videos of his NEW Therapist taken just last week.
At our first therapists we did get the ball rolling for some AFO's. They finally arrived January 10th.
They weren't sure how he would like them or adjust to them, but he never complained NOT once. And the difference they have made in him is AMAZING!!!
His first time walking in his crutches!!
So he received his AFO's and 3 weeks later they BROKE!! Both of them-- They could not hold up to the pressure he was putting on them. I was SHOCKED....
However they were VERY expensive and they replaced them for free and made them EVEN STRONGER!!!
Less than 2 weeks after receiving his new AFO's-- which were SUPER strong, so strong the PT and I were a bit worried if he would be able to use them, they really made him WORK hard. But he overcame it and he got his ARM crutches. One thing about Mathew-- he does NOT like to fail.... he was so sure he wouldn't be able to use arm crutches, (I guess he tried something similar in the orphanage and fell a lot), but the day they came he took them with us out to eat... he did BEAUTIFULLY!!!
Even before the arm crutches he found ways around--
A big part of Matthew's therapy at home has consisted of using the Wii. He loves playing it and it has helped him to stand Unassisted for long periods of time while moving/waving his hands and switching the weight on his feet. Again-- AMAZING!!
Spina Bifida
I was in touch with our local Spina Bifida clinic a few weeks before we traveled. Just trying to get an idea of what we should expect and to let them know HE is COMING!!! :)
They were SOOOOOO very kind. The first lady I talked to spoke to me for about an hour and answered so many questions. There is also a nurse I can call at any time and a social worker who has kept in touch with us regularly to be sure everything is going well.
His first visit was scheduled much faster than most and that was because of the video I sent them of Matthew walking in the orphanage. They pediatric orthopedic dr. wanted to see him right away. So we went and they took many many xrays of his hips, ankles, legs, back and so forth. The dr. was pleasantly surprised with how well everything looked. This was after a few weeks of therapy but After we had the AFO's ordered-- so she was glad we had ordered them and NOT waited. She just noted we should continue with therapy, working on some core strength and hip movements. But she would be fine seeing him in 12 months!!
His next visit was with the pediatric neurologist to confirm if he has a shunt. It was in his original paperwork but our local pediatrician did not think there was one, there were no signs or scars. THe neurologist also agreed, he did not have a shunt. Nor did he need one.... it was a quick painless visit! :)
His last visit was with the Urologist. At the above neurologist apt we did squeeze in a renal ultrasound. The Urologist was VERY VERY VERY pleased with the ultrasound. She said his kidneys look to be in great shape (we kind of figured that from the original paper work our pediatrician had done when he first arrived home.) She said due to his leaking urine all the time (he has little/no sensation) that is what is keeping his kidneys so good, the urine is not staying in and causing problems-- it just flows right out. We were not sure if she would want to start him catheterise.... I was really torn both ways-- but she said "This little guy has had so many life changing things happen in the last few months, I think we should just let things be the way they are, he is not having infections....and maybe next year when the changes are not so much we can talk about that, because he is TOOO smart to not be in under ware as a young adult." So I was pleased, and Matthew was relieved.
So all in all our Spina Bifida clinic is very pleased and does not need to see him till next year!!! He is happy!! LOL I am amazed though, a little boy who has had little/NO health care dealing with his SB, and he is really a very healthy little boy.
Dental Health
This was the most invasive health care he has had. His poor teeth... so many of them were black, broken and hurt when he drank anything hot/cold.
So we had him to a pediatric dentist and she referred us to an oral surgeon to have 3 of them removed. I was so worried, he was so worried. They put him to sleep. And when he woke up they said "Your all done" and he said "What? already?" He was amazing. I asked him to lie on the couch and let us "Wait" on him like a KING;.....and he complied. He did not need pain medicine and by dinner time he was trying to get off the couch....(I insisted he rested just for 1 day-- mean mom, I know).
He still has 7 fillings that need done, later this summer, but the PAIN he had is gone.
EDUCATION
Matthew arrived knowing very little English, but we were able to communicate with our iphone and translator app, and also hand motions. I really again was surprised at how well that went too-- he learned SOOOOOOOOOO very fast.
By January 2013 he was speaking ALL English!! I am amazed...he has a WILL to learn and he is LEARNING.
I started some home school with Mathew in the 2 months he was here in 2012 with just some Leap Frog videos (over and over again, which really helped him learn his letter sounds).
In 2013 I ordered him the Horizon Math book Grade 1. Matthew did know some basic addition math facts, but he needed a bit of review and also he needed to learn American currency, how to tell time and how to measure in inches. So Grade 1 was a perfect fit for him, he felt confident that it wasn't ALL NEW, but each lesson had some new things. He was also able to move through that book very quickly at 2 lessons a day. He is now (April 2013) in Grade 1 book 2. He will easily be in 2nd grade (age 9) by September 2013 school year.
For Reading I wasn't sure what we would do but followed the advice I read of another mother and started Matthew in the GET READY FOR THE CODE books. He started book A, B, C and now has already progressed through book and 1 and is on 1 1/2. He made very fast progress in this as well. He is already reading sentences and spelling 3-4 letter words. I do add in a bit of Sing Spell Read and Write as well for him.
**Today April 17, 2013 Matthew read his first book with the letter A words!! He did great... I'll try to get a video soon, once he isn't so nervous. :)
Here are some pictures of him doing his school work today:
Science and Social Studies have not been the primary focus for him, but he has participated in our Weaver lessons, including volcano's and more.
Next school year he may participate in a Science Co-op that his bigger brothers are part of, he is really looking forward to this. They will learn about Animal Science and do art as well.
Also on his list of things he would like to do next year- Karate (with his older 2 brothers) and Piano (most likely in 2 years). He has goals-- and I have NO doubt he will achieve them!!!
EMOTIONAL HEATLH
Not to say that Matthew has emotional issues, but any child taken from a country and friends he great up in is going to have some bumps in the road.
Matthew was the bravest little boy I have ever met. He was so brave through all our travels, a train ride with 2 people he barely knew, plane rides in airports (something he has never experienced). The first morning in our home he slept with Jason and I and yes he woke crying. I comforted him and prayed for him and then he was ready to face the rest of his family!!
He had about 5 or 6 nights where he would cry after being tucked in. I would sit beside his bed, rub his back and pray for him. I prayed for him in ways I never knew.... I prayed that anything EVER spoken over or to this boy would be broken in Jesus name. I prayed he would adjust and find love and acceptance in his new family. I prayed he would understand what family meant. I prayed against anything in his mind that was not of the Lord, would be removed forever.
Matthew's survival technique was to cry. Some kids have anger, or outburst, Matthew had none of these. We are pretty sure he was one of the favorites in his orphanage and was VERY well taken care of and needed not to "defend" himself. We are thankful for that.
However when Matthew first came and things did not go his way and he was asked to do something or anything did not go the way he thought he would cry. Each time I would take him aside (usually with our iphone translator) and we would try to hash it all out......and so that he understood what was happening and I too would understand. We had so many bathroom conferences, I guess that was just the quietest place in the house with NO interruptions!
He had a few "Good Bye Americas" he tried to pull-- but I quickly held him tightly and explained "there would be NO Good bye America's---- he was here, he has a family that loves him so very much-- through bad times, when he was sad, when he was happy, when he was disobedient-- it didn't matter-- HE WOULD ALWAYS BE LOVED-- FOREVER and EVER and EVER!!! I told him that over and over again--- praying he would GET IT... he did not have to "earn" our love or "deserve" our love-- he would have it-- He was a COLLINS forever now! After a few of these talks the Good Bye America's disappeared. THANKFULLY
The other emotional hill we had to overcome was-- LOSING-- to say Matthew was a sore loser is the understatement of the century!!!! We were playing lots of games when he got home. Sorry, Uno, and on and on-- and if he even STARTED to lose, it was a full blown breakdown (crying). So I would stop the game-- put it away and explain we have to learn to lose well. Then when we would play again and someone else would lose (often) we would Exxagerate that losing was "okay" the most important part of playing a game was to have FUN-- to enjoy it-- and to win sometimes and to lose sometimes. For the first 3 months he was NOT allowed to play any games with out mommy or daddy playing. He has now gotten it-- slowly-- he would say "I lose, that is okay, right mommy?" I would reply "Are you having a good time playing, if so, YES, it is okay". I am happy to report 6 months later he plays games VERY VERY WELL!!! Fooseball with an older brother could still cause tears, but he has come a LONG WAY!!
It always brought a TEAR to MY eye watching him BEAR UP under things not going his way. I could sit back and watch him-- WANT to cry-- WANT to fall apart-- but realizing he didn't HAVE to-- EVERYTHING was going to be OKAY-- he would even talk to himself a bit--- a little pep talk. I could VISUALLY see the process week by week get better and better.
I do understand in his orphanage and maybe even his culture -- they were expected to do EVERYTHING well and if not they might have been taunted or not treated as well-- so Matthew still does NOT like to do or begin somethings that he "doesn't know" . Which is why his school went so well-- we did a bit he KNEW and a bit NEW things.... that has worked well with many things. That and for him to understand-- if he DOESN'T do well-- it is okay-- if he tries his best we will LOVE HIM and ARE PROUD OF HIM!!!! I think he is getting it!! :)
DAILY CHORES/ RESPONSIBILITIES
Matthew with his CHORE pack-- oh yes, everyone works together here to keep things running....Matthew LOVES helping.... :)
ACTIVITIES
The weekend after he arrived, we took a family trip to an awesome Corn Maze / Farm Fun activity. He still talks about some of these activities 6 months later.
WELCOME to our CHURCH FAMILY /Thanksgiving Dinner
The blanket/ pillow combo they MADE him!! he sleeps with it EVERY NIGHT!! He loves it!!
Cards and well wishes-- WELCOMING HIM!!
Thanksgiving 2012
Making his first pumpkin pie
Enjoying the fruit of his labors!! :)
Bowling
Visit to 2 friends who also adopted from Matthew's orphanage
Christmas 2012
Finding our PERFECT TREE!!
Making cookies
**yes the one on the far left is NOT our child, it is my brother's daughter who was visiting for Christmas**
Yes this toy was a great help in encouraging him to stand for longer periods of time. He actually prefers the Foosball table (in the background). You can also see he isn't standing very well here YET either.....
Winter 2012-2013
of course not his first snow ever, but the first time he was able to GO OUT AND PLAY in it!!
First time sledding-- he LOVED it
First snow man family. I could tell he had only seen them in pictures/movies, he thought they should be MUCH more perfect, round and not "dirty". :)
First Birth Experience-- Baby Goats of course, he just wanted to see so badly, we was able to see 3 mama's deliver!!
First BIKE
No one thought he would be doing this.... but he kept practicing on Rebekah's tricycle, but it was a bit too small for him, so we bought him his first BIG BOY BIKE.... he is doing AWESOME!! His Physical Therapist is AMAZED!!! SO are we!! This boy wants to do EVERYTHING every other boy is doing if he could JUST have the CHANCE!! We are trying to give him EVERY chance he needs!! :)
First ROLLER SKATING
okay okay-- NO ONE saw this coming except maybe Matthew. I took his wheel chair thinking he could wheel around and how many kids would be thankful to "push" him to help them NOT fall down!! But when we got there-- he wanted skates!!! WHAT? THANKFULLY they had 1 pair that would fit OVER his shoes and braces....(otherwise it would've been impossible)....but where there was a will -- HE DID IT-- and not even holding on to the wall or using crutches or walker (I took it all, I had no idea what he would want to use)-- the answer-- NOTHING!! LOL
After about an hour he did RIDE in style-- and SO many of the men PUSHED him around-- so fast in fact he fastened his seat belt (he NEVER does that)!! HE LOVED IT!!
Easter 2013
We attended church with BOTH sets of grandparents AND Great-Grandparents!!!
Then we had a HUGE meal with Jason's family (Jason has 9 aunts and uncles). Yes he loved meeting them all and I think many of them were happy to meet him and were VERY surprised at how well he has adjusted to our family!! It was a wonderful celebration-- but I took NO pictures!! :(
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